Declaring your wedding vows in front of your fiancé, family and friends is one of those special moments during a wedding that can be heartfelt to you as a couple and undoubtedly meaningful to everyone else in attendance.
Writing your own wedding vows is a wonderful way to make the wedding ceremony even more special, and truly add a personal touch.
Writing Your Own Wedding Vows vs. Using Traditional Wedding Vows
While you must be married by an official or officiant who is able to legally declare you husband and wife, the actual wording you choose for your wedding vows need not adhere to the typical, formal words or vows you may have heard at other weddings.
Note: If you will be married in a place of worship and wish to customize your wedding vows, you may have to obtain permission to do so and subsequently have these vows approved by your official prior to your wedding day.
Your officiant will more than likely have a collection of vows that he or she has used in prior ceremonies — and this can be a great place to start when constructing your own vows. Feel free to use wording that appeals to you both and don’t be afraid to add other words, promises etc. that are important to you.
Sometimes, a well placed quote within your vows can be extremely meaningful or even bring humor to your vows if it’s a funny quote about marriage. Here are some of our favorite love and wedding quotes that might spark some ideas.
As a refresher, here is a set of traditional wedding vows that you can refer to as you work on your own. The important part as you write your own thoughts is that you capture the intent of these vows (a promise to “to love and to cherish”, etc.) while weaving in your own personal stories and words.
Simple Wedding Vows
I, _______ (bride/groom), take you _______ (groom/bride), to be my (husband/wife), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do us part.
You may also prefer to keep things simple and traditional as many couples do, and just use these vows as is–which it perfectly fine! Just make sure to keep your officiant in the loop and don’t hesitate to ask him or her questions along the way. They’ve probably been asked the same questions many, many times and will be more than happy to help you with this process.
Pro Tip: Don’t wait until the last minute to write you wedding vows! You’ll likely go through several drafts of your wedding vows before you finalize them, and sometimes it’s good to leave a little time in between each draft and come back to it with fresh eyes. Just give yourself a few weeks or so to work on them so that you don’t feel rushed.
Lastly, don’t worry that you have to memorize your vows–only do so if you’re both comfortable with it. You likely be far more comforted knowing that your vows are recorded in a journal or on separate sheets which you’ll both read from during the ceremony.